One of the biggest taboo subjects with Menopause is “Reduced Sex Drive.” 

For many women in their late 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s, you, like me are asking “where did my sex drive go?”

Fluctuating hormones during perimenopause can increase desire or craving for sex unexpectedly or cause it to plummet to nothing the very next day. For many it is the plummet that you cannot get out of that is a concern.

But to blame it only on hormones would be a mistake. This is a time of our life when we are terribly busy, have increased stress, and are not feeling that great about the changes occurring to our physical appearance.

What is called receptive desire plays a role in being turned on as well. Receptive desire relates to issues you may have with your body, mind, or relationship.

Let us look at each sex drive killer and the ways to overcome them.

Sex Drive Killer #1: Dryness and Pain

For some of us, you may notice that you are less easily aroused, and you may be less sensitive to touch making it harder to be aroused. Add to this, reduced oestrogen levels can affect vaginal lubrication, causing the vagina to be dry, making sex painful or uncomfortable. 

But guys there is help: First, let us reduce the pain and lubricate the playground as such. You can try over-the-counter water-based lubricants to reduce friction. Your doctor can prescribe a low-dose estrogen cream, suppository, or ring.

Vaginal moisturizers can also be used to reduce symptoms not related to sex. Vaginal moisturizers can be applied daily to improve the dryness and irritation caused by vulvovaginal atrophy. They work by trapping moisture in the tissues. Olive oil and coconut oil may also be used as vaginal moisturizers.

Regular sex and masturbation can also help by promoting blood flow.

Sex Drive Killer #2: Stress

Around this age we are deep into our career, raising children, for some caring for aging parents, and trying to keep relationships with our partners going. All these can really increase stress and lead to us putting sex on the back burner.

Time to put stress reduction techniques into play and practice them daily. Simple deep breathing, a little me time, mediation, yoga, some art. Just ensure you can integrate it into your daily life.

Sex Drive Killer #3: Avoidance

The old saying ‘use it or lose it’ comes to mind with this. Avoiding sex because you're not feeling it can decrease your sex drive even more. Sexual stimulation increases the blood flow to your vagina, which keeps the tissues healthy. When you avoid sex, the lining of your vagina may become even thinner and less elastic.

It can help if you plan a date and lovemaking, downplay the focus on full sex and focus on foreplay, touch to increase blood flow, and do not be afraid to take things into your own hands, direct clitoral stimulation through masturbation or use of a vibrator is a brilliant way to encourage blood flow.

Sex Drive Killer #4: Normal aging

As women, it is hard to feel like sex when you see the changes in your body due to aging. You just do not feel the same anymore, I get it.

Greying hairs, extra kilograms, dry skin, and wrinkles make you see yourself as "old," you're less likely to see yourself as "Sexy.”  But this is more about us having low self-love, we need to work on reframing our image and realizing that we are sexy no matter what shape or size we are.

First you need to accept your body, your shape, your size, we all have so much more we can be positive about including your strength, your personality, your curves.

Use the power of mindfulness, the best way to feel sexy is to embrace a sexy mindset. Take photos of yourself and look for the positives, parts of your body, which make you feel sexy. Fuel your imagination and fill that mind with sexy images and thoughts.

Change it up and invent a new you - buy a sexy dress, wear some heels, put on some makeup, buy some sexy underwear.

There's good news about aging and sex ladies, with many women reporting an increase in desire after menopause.

Sex Drive Killer #5: Mood Disorders and Medications

Depression and anxiety can greatly decrease sex drive, and to make it worse we are more likely to suffer from mood disorders with hormonal changes during menopause. Medication for mood disorders can also have a side effect of reduced sex drive.

If you are taking anti-depressant talk to your doctor about other treatment options e.g., therapy or non-SSRI antidepressants which cause fewer sexual side effects.

Sex- drive killer#6: other illness

We often go straight to menopause to blame a decreased sex drive, but it is important to check that it is not another underlying cause such as lowered thyroid function, chronic pain, bladder issues, or medication side effects. Get a check-up to make sure there is nothing else going on.

Remember there are a lot of factors that come into play. And the biggest one is caring for yourself. The better your diet, exercise routine, and stress reduction, the easier it is to feel sexy.

Menopause Support

For extra support and advice on nutrition through menopause and to access the best supplementation advice and routine for you as an individual, book an appointment today with our Perth based nutritionists face to face or online.

During your consultation, our nutritionists will holistically assess current dietary and lifestyle factors, pre-existing conditions, and medications to provide dietary, lifestyle and nutritional supplement advice to support you through menopause.

After each appointment, you’ll also receive a complete individualised meal plan, surviving menopause guide and a personalised practitioner only supplement prescription if appropriate.